Unconnecting – You Can’t Choose Someone else’s Happy

While we can sometimes find our own short comings and pitfalls, for some people there is almost no greater pleasure than pointing out the failures and poor decisions of others. 

But what if they aren’t failures? What if they aren’t poor decisions?

And at what point do we peel our eyes away from problems we can’t help or issues we can’t solve and realize that this is not our story to write. 

One persons choices and decisions may be a very calculated moves for themselves. 

These choices and actions that we find ourselves criticizing and commenting on may in fact be a teeny tiny step in the bigger path they’ve set themselves on. 

The wonderful thing about other peoples lives – is that they are not our own.

As helpful or objective as we may think that we are being at any given moment. We truly can’t control the narrative of another person’s life.

At most, we can act as a bystander. An extra in someone else’s major blockbuster film.

But never can we, nor should we – expect to control someone else’s story.

And further to this, never should we try to decipher someone else’s ‘happy’.

I think the first part, most of us have more than come to terms with.

Offering advice, suggestions, and help when asked, but ultimately coming to terms with however the situation plays out – especially if we ourselves are not a part of the outcome.

This being said, one big thing that society struggles with, is trying to control the narrative when it comes to happy.

Individually – we know what pushes our buttons and what lights up our lives.

We know what simple and not so simple actions or gestures can bring a smile to our face.

We know what makes us comfortable, makes us feel safe, and brings us joy.

We know what makes us happy.

What we can’t control however, is how all of these little things could potentially affect other people.

We can’t control if flowers make us happy, and make others sad.

We can’t control if we like beach vacations, and others enjoy heading to the mountains.

Some like summer, while some find solace in the cool crisp day in the winter months.

Maybe even beyond the seemingly trivial things. When it comes to relationships, goals, career choices and major life decisions – the same still applies.

We can’t choose other peoples happy.

What can we do?

We can continue in our bystander position. Bearing witness to other peoples choices, other peoples decisions, and other people’s paths.

We can do nothing but offer our guidance. Give suggestions and advice when prompted and wish others nothing but the best.

We can encourage and cheer on.

We can motivate and support.

But we can’t choose their happy.

Which isn’t a bad thing.

Unless other peoples actions and choices directly interfere with our own personal lives – and our own personal happy. Why do we so often feel affected by something that in our own personal narrative – really doesn’t matter?

The more we disengage from battles that aren’t ours to fight, the quicker and easier we will make it to our own peace.

The less stressful and the less cumbersome life becomes.

The clear our paths become and the quicker we find our own peace and our own happy.

By constantly berating others for not making the same choices as ourselves, the more we detract from any joy whatsoever. Our own, or others.

So let people make their own decisions.

Let people live their lives the way they see fit.

Let others choose their own happy as we choose ours.




Guest Blogger Rayna Davies

Rayna Davies is a graduate and practitioner of Business Management.  She has developed an expertise in blogging, covering subjects like travel, world events and security.  Having grown up with a father who has developed an expertise in Physical Security and Executive Prot

ection in the RCMP and two major corporations, she has personally observed and experienced many security details.  These experiences have included personally meeting HM Queen Elizabeth, Prime Minister Jean Chretien and many celebrities.  She presently assists Sentinel Security in Executive Protection workshops and guest blogging and also assists Gloprosec Preventative Services in Intelligence gathering and Business Administration.

Her passions include World travel, having visited every continent.